Christmas 2011: Winnie the Pooh cuties

Hello Everyone,

 

Today something from 2011 again. These nails were very special to me I made them while my mom was in the hospital and had surgery. We did not know back then she would never wake up again :( We left the hospital very late that evening and my current nails weren't pretty at all any more and I felt weird standing beside her bed with chipped nails. She wouldn't expect that of me, so really late in the evening I did my nails really quick. When I need to do something quick I always choose a holo polish. I did not bring much nail stuff to my parents place but I did had some decals and plates.

 

My mom knew I really like Disney so I used these Disney cuties water decals that I made and designed myself. I made them Christmassy adding the stocking, hat, tree, present, candy cane etc.

 

Seeing these nails makes me sad again, because she never saw them anymore. And I used to love showing my nails every week to my mom. And with these nails I spent a week until 2nd Christmas (the day she died) living in the hospital. We also slept there (well tried to sleep there was one extra bed so we took shifts) and  we only left sometimes to get some food and feed our pets. But my mom and dad's place is only 5 minutes by bike from the hospital. My dad never left and even showered there, the moment she did really died I wasn't there (I was just at home to take a shower) and I blame myself and it makes me mad. Because my sister slept a couple of nights at home because she couldn't leave her dog alone so many nights and nothing happened. And I just left 5 minutes after staying with her all the time and she died and I missed that :( it still feel so bad :( Some people say that maybe she wanted to spare me that final moment of turning really white with blue finger nails, but to me it feels like I let her down and I wasn't there for her and that feeling sucks.

So these nails really remind me of that period :( and are very special to me.

 

Base China Glaze Sexagon (my favorite silver holo). Self made and designed water decals of the Winnie the Pooh cuties. And stamped the stars from Konad M3 with SN red.

Also something weird, we did decorated the trees at my mom and dad's place and at my boyfriend place while she was in the hospital, because after the first surgery it went well and they were saying that maybe she could be home with Christmas...unfortunately that never happened. The Christmas decorations at my parent's place are always silver and at me and my boyfriends place they are red. So I realized later that these nails represent both colors of both my homes (I offically still live with my parents ;)) and I often decorate my nail room with Disney Christmas stuff.

But this year I decorated the door of out living room with Winnie the Pooh :)

 

 

Thanks for reading.
 

xoxox sad me :(